The Communication Gap Is Widening
Communication is one of the bedrocks of a relationship, without which the marriage or relationship would die a natural death. One of the ways to know a marriage that would end in divorce is when the couples no longer communicate.
They may still talk, but they dont communicate. The wife does not hear the husband, and the husband does not listen to her. This attitude will further hinder the growth of the marriage and create a rift between the two.
As the communication gap widens, so does the tendency to argue and fight. This is because lack of communication breeds misunderstanding.
Now, when couples cant talk, it creates a gap of loneliness in which each partner would seek to fill in their way from a third party.
Lastly, when the gap widens, you start seeing your partner in a bad light. You will find it difficult to see the good sides of your spouse.
Your Partner Is Narcissistic
“I see a lot of divorce where a partner seems charismatic, but its actually the facade of very intense narcissism,” Skyler explains. Wondering how to tell if your partner is a narcissist, exactly? It usually means they lack empathy, and typically demonstrate entitlement, vanity, arrogance, and controlling behavior, Skyler says. If you are married to a narcissistic person, its possible that you have fallen victim to their particularly charming behaviors without noticing the negative oneswhich is common.
So, if you have inklings that your partner might be demonstrating some of these behaviors, it may be a sign that something deeper is wrong.
Where Mutual Love And Respect Have Gone Out The Window And The Partners Vilify Each Other Even Publicly And Even Fight Publicly Divorce Is Only A Matter Of Time
The wife becomes increasingly disrespectful of the husband and the husband decides to return the favor too. Trading of vengeful spates has become the order of the day in the marriage and the couple sees nothing wrong in fighting and having heated arguments in public and even in front of their children.
You may find this article on What to do when your husband doesnt respect you helpful.
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Most Shared Memories Make You Smile
If all you can focus on are the bad times, youre probably on the way to a permanent break.
But if you still have a decent repertoire of happy memories and can recall how loved you felt in the past, you may be able to mend your rift, Rachel Russo, a New York City-based dating and relationship expert, told Womens Day.
When things are tough, people tend to look back on all of the good times with their partner and feel hopeful that they can get back to that happy place again. Get inspired to work hard on the relationship to bring all of those good feelings back and make new memories.
Youre Thinking About Divorce
Of course, one of the clearest signs that your marriage is heading for a divorce is if youre thinking about it yourself. If youre constantly wondering if your marriage is going to make it, its likely that its not.
If youre seriously considering divorce, its important to seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through the issues in your marriage and decide if divorce is really the best option for you.
No one wants to think about their marriage ending in divorce, but unfortunately, it happens all too often. If youre worried that your marriage might be headed for a divorce, pay attention to these warning signs. By catching them early, you might be able to save your marriage before its too late!
You Might Be Having An Emotional Affair
While its totally normal to seek validation and connection outside of your marriage, its important to maintain boundaries that are respectful of your spouse. Some factors that might point to an emotional affair areif you feel you have to repeatedly hide your interactions with the person you are venting to, if you find yourself spending a good amount of time and mental energy on that person, or if you are de-prioritizing your marriage in order to make more room for this person in your life, says Williamson.
When seeking connection outside of your marriage becomes more important than finding it inside your marriage, it can be a sign that the relationship may not be offering the environment you need to fully thrive.
When The Thought Of Leaving Scares The Hell Out Of You And Yet
“It can be exciting to think about the life you could be living if you weren’t with this person any longerthe freedom, the adventures, the passion,” says D’Angelo. But those fantasies are centered around what happens when you’ve already left the marriage. “Take notice of what it feels like to imagine actually leaving, not just living this new life of yours sans partner,” she continues. “If the thought of leaving scares you, yet you’d still rather leave than stay, it’s a pretty strong indicator that it’s time to go.”
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You Have Many Reasons To Avoid Your Partner
It is a positive impact in any marriage to have some personal space to spend time without your spouse. Because you both would have different interests and it is natural to spend some time apart. This is actually recommendable to do because then the partners will not lose interest in each other.
When you are apart for some time, it gives you the energy and opportunity to develop as an interesting person and create a good bond with your spouse. But things will go wrong when partners share nothing and when theyre not interested in whatever their partner gets excited about.
If you are going constantly looking for reasons to stay anywhere, instead of spending time with your partner, it can be one of the 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce. Even if you do not notice it, you may have plans with friends, hobbies you enjoy, or any other extra work in all your free time and weekends.
The point here is that if your spouse is a person you spend as little time with, then it is a sign that your relationship is not going well. Spending quality time with your partner is the key to a happy relationship. When Partners avoid each other, they will have no opportunity to meet and talk. The lack of quality communication and the unsolved issues becomes one of the reasons for divorce.
You should discuss what is going on with your partner and if you have thought about separating then it is time to start talking.
Youve Stopped Arguing Entirely
Conflict is tough in any relationship and can take a high emotional and physical toll if its happening all the time. But it can also be an opportunity to air the frustrations that need mending, and, in its own way, show that both partners are still invested enough to hash things out. If youre avoiding conflict entirely because youre afraid of how your partner handles arguments or because you dont think its worth the energy, that can be a sign its time to move on.
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There Is A Lack Of Trust
Maybe you suspect your spouse of lying, or you’re always suspicious of their behavior. While you may be tempted to check their text messages or email, unfortunately, feeling the need to do so may indicate there’s already deeper relationship issues that need to be addressed.
A lack of trust often leads to emotional instability within the relationshipyou and your partner may not feel safe around each other.
Red Flag #1: A Spouse Who Cant Or Wont Hold A Job
Unless youve agreed that one of you will be a stay-at-home spouse, both of you need to be committed to finding and keeping jobs to the best of your abilities.
This isnt to say that you wont hit rough patches in your employment, but if it takes both of your incomes to keep a home running, then you both need to find jobs and stick with them.
Youll be able to tell when a spouse puts forth honest effort in this areaor not.
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Substance Abuse Is A Concern
It can be a massive obstacle to a marriage if one of the partners is addicted to substances. Counseling is one option to resolve this issue. That will harm the marriage if the spouse involved is not willing to do so. According to research, 34.6% of divorces are due to substance abuse. Substance abuse has been a significant cause of 34.6% of divorces.
Warning Signs That Your Marriage Is In Trouble
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If youre in a bad marriage, your self-esteem will suffer. You might find yourself depressed and living in various states of anxiety.
Nobody should go through life that way.
Every marriage has bumps in the road, but when those bumps become too big or too frequent, you need to take a much closer look at where your life and your marriage is headed.
How many red flags do you need?
Some of them may be playing out right in front of you and youre either too busy or too oblivious to realize your marriage is in trouble and might be on the fast track to separation and divorce.
This isnt to say if you see yourself in many of the things that follow that your marriage cant be savedbecause it can.
But the first step in saving a marriage is recognizing problems and taking steps to work together with your spouse to fix them.
Looking back, I realize now that the red flags were staring me right in the face. How many of these warning signs can you spot in your own marriage?
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There Is Physical Abuse
Unfortunately, a big factor behind the breaking of marriage is physical abuse. Some partners try to hide this fact and go on. Disagreements and arguments are part of any marriage.
Unfortunately, physical abuse is a genuine reason for many troubled marriages. There is a lot of shame attached to this aspect and about coming out about it. This is a cultural conditioning that takes some will to overcome.
The question is, is marriage worth it suffering this indignity? The answer is a definite NO.
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Not Talking About The Future Means The End Of A Marriage Is Near
Chances are, if youve reached the stage where youd much rather not discuss the future with your spouse, youre internalizing signs of divorce that will turn ugly in the future. If you and your spouse havent discussed the distant future in a while, it could well be because subconsciously you dont see a future together. Thats a classic sign of a failing marriage.
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There’s No Spiritual Or Emotional Connection
According to Paul, there are cases when one partner may “outgrow” the other, so to speak. This is a painful one, but it’s important to acknowledge when it’s happening.
“If the person is on an emotional and spiritual growth path, and their partner just isn’t interested at all, there’s not going to be much of an emotional connection,” she explains.
When this happens, there likely also won’t be much of a spiritual or sexual connection either, Paul says. “They’re not at the same place they may have been when they got together, and it may be time to move on if that connection isn’t there, or if the other person just isn’t interested in learning and growing.”
You No Longer Get Physically Intimate
We are not talking only about sex.Relationships strengthen with the soft but reassuring touches like holding hands, hugging each other, cuddling and kissing. These touches help us communicate at a deeper emotional level and feel more connected. When it no longer happens, its not a good sign.
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One Or Both Partners Are Unhappy
Its no secret that marriages can be challenging. If youre not careful, its easy to let the small things build up until they become big problems. And once that happens, it can be hard to see a way out. If you find yourself in a situation where one or both partners are unhappy, it may signify that your marriage is heading for divorce.
Of course, every marriage is different, and other factors may be at play. But if youre feeling hopeless and trapped, you must reach out for help. Resources are available to you, and divorce doesnt have to end your story. With the proper support, you can get through this challenging time and become more assertive on the other side.
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Turning Away Not Towards
When resentment and anger build, couples begin to build walls. The intimacy, connection, and space to talk go away. Take this to its conclusion, and you get couples who stop talking, stop touching, and eventually divorce.
To turn your marriage around, find ways to create space to be together, talk, and mend old wounds. In our experience, couples coaching can speed up the process and get couples out of this troubled zone.
In sessions, I hear couples say things like:
- We avoid each other.
- Talking about issues doesnt work, so we just dont talk.
- Time together is minimal so that we can avoid conflict.
- We shut down and dont bring things up anymore.
These are all statements that indicate a marriage is in trouble. Is it the end? No, but its time to get professional support to build bridges and communications skills.
Understand And Have Clarity Of Your Finances
Managing two houses instead of one becomes an expensive affair, and the financial arrangement might be a little tough. Here are a few financial things to take care of:
- Divorcees usually sell their marital home and share the amount between them, or one person might keep the house and pay the value to the other.
- Draft your marital assets and cash inflow well.
- Check your individual social security benefits as well.
- Split all your joint accounts.
- Get enough clarity on health insurance.
- Sign agreements on child support.
- List out the probable future expenses, like medical expenses, and set aside a certain fund for it. Planning for unavoidable and unforeseeable expenses can help avoid conflict later.
Planning an accurate financial future can help you both do things better.
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Substance Abuse Is An Issue
When either partner is into substance abuse, it is a big stumbling block to the state of marriage. Seeking help in the form of counseling is one way of definitively dealing with this.
If the partner involved does not wish to address this, there will be an adverse impact upon marriage.
It has been found that substance abuse has been the reason behind 34.6% of divorces. This definitely marks substance abuse as one of the red flags in a marriage.
You Have 1000 And 1 Reasons To Avoid Your Partner
No question having personal space and spending some time without your spouse positively impacts any marriage. Partners often have different interests, and, naturally, they spend some time apart.
Most family psychologists actually recommend doing this so that the partners didnt lose interest in each other. Time apart gives you energy and the opportunity to develop and be a more interesting person.
However, things go wrong when there are nothing partners share or when they are not interested in whatever excites their partner. If you notice that youre constantly looking for reasons to be anywhere but with your partner, your marriage is in trouble.
You may not even see it, but you always have some plans with friends, or extra work, or a hobby you need to devote all your evenings and weekends to. This list could go on the point is that if your spouse is a person you want to spend as little time with as possible, this is a sign that there are issues in your relationship.
Try to understand why you want to avoid them and work on this problem. Remember, spending quality time together is key to a happy relationship.
Why is it so important? Usually, when people spend time together, they also share their thoughts and feelings, have a chance to discuss their concerns, and solve everything thats bothering them.
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