Is It Ok To Be Divorced
Divorces set you free, they dont put you down Most marriages leave a scar on the soul and its very hard to recover from it but we really need to understand that divorce is the end of a legal agreement, not the end of the world. Its imperative to consider the positive implications of divorce in your life.
How Can We Be So Sure That Physical Abuse Emotional Abuse Financial Abuse Substance Abuse And Severe Neglect Are Serious In God’s Eyes
How do we know? Because the Bible says God doesn’t want abusive people in the church. The apostle Paul told the Christians in Corinth to end their association with any sexually immoral, drunk, emotionally or financially abusive person.
1. We should not associate with people who claim to be Christians but are immoral. Not even to eat with them.
1 Cor 5:11-12 But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.
thisChristians
Eph 5:3-7 NIVBut among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for Gods holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy personsuch a person is an idolaterhas any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things Gods wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.
Eph 5:11-13 NIVHave nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visibleand everything that is illuminated becomes a light.
Ephesians : 32 Forgive One Another
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christs sake hath forgiven you.
~ Ephesians 4:32
It might be difficult and lonely to advocate for marriage reconciliation with a partner that is out for divorce. But, unfortunately, the entire world wants you to divorce and move on.
But in this Bible verse, God appreciates relationships and shows us how to restore them by working through the challenging aspects.
We are expected to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, and forgiving one another, even as God, for Christs sake, hath forgiven us. By so doing, there will be peace in the home.
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We Need To Stop Saying God Hates Divorce
The saying God hates divorce is unbiblical and unjust. It stigmatizes people who have divorced on valid grounds.
Victims of domestic abuse or other violations of the marriage covenant can be trapped in horrible marriages for a whole range of reasons. Lets remove one of those reasons by banning the unscriptural slogan God hates divorce.
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Here are the three modern Bible translations of Malachi 2:16 that accurately convey that the verb hates is third person, not first person:
Holman Christian Standard Bible / Christian Standard Bible
Update: In 2017 the HCSB was revised and renamed the Christian Standard Bible. In the update they did not change their translation of Malachi 2:16
If he hates and divorces his wife, says the Lord God of Israel, he covers his garment with injustice, says the Lord of Hosts.
NIV
The man who hates and divorces his wife, says the LORD, the God of Israel, does violence to the one he should protect, says the LORD Almighty.
English Standard
For the man who does not love his wife but divorces* her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts.* Hebrew: who hates and divorces
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Divorce In The New Testament
Jesus clarified the Pharisees questions about Deuteronomy 24 in Matthew 19:9, And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.
Jesus made it clear that if a husband divorces his wife to marry another woman, he is committing adultery against his first wife because, in Gods eyes, he is still married to his first wife. The same holds true for a wife who divorces her husband and marries another man. If a woman divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.
In the eyes of God, the only thing that breaks that covenant is sexual immorality. What God has joined together, let no man separate.
This binding covenant concept is repeated in 1 Corinthians 7:39: A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, as long as he belongs to the Lord. Note that God wants Christians to marry Christians!
33. Mark 10:2-6 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? 3 What did Moses command you? he replied. 4 They said, Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away. 5 It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law, Jesus replied. 6 But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female.
34. Matthew 19:9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.
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What Does The Bible Say About Divorce
Did you know that the United States has the third-highest divorce rate in the world? Sadly, 43% of first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. It worsens for divorced couples who marry again: 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages collapse.
As horrible as those statistics are, the good news is that the divorce rate is slowly decreasing. A key reason is couples are waiting until theyre more mature and have usually dated for two to five years before marrying. But in case youre wondering couples who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who dont! Living together before marriage increases the likelihood of divorce.
Many couples choose to live together and even raise a family without marriage. What is the success rate of unmarried cohabiting couples? Dismal! Couples living together out of wedlock are more likely to separate than those who marry, and 80% of domestic violence cases are among cohabiting couples.
How has divorce affected Christian couples? Some statistics show that Christian couples are as likely to divorce as non-Christians. However, many people identify as Christians but are not active in church, regularly reading their Bibles or praying, and dont seek to follow Gods Word in their daily lives. These nominal Christians have a higher divorce rate. Christians who actively practice their faith are far less likely to divorce than non-Christians and nominal Christians.
What Does The Bible Say About Divorce And Remarriage
Jesus indicated that if adultery is the reason for the divorce, it is not a sin to remarry.
And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.
What about if the divorce was because an unsaved spouse wanted out of the marriage? Paul said that the believing spouse is not under bondage, which might imply that remarriage is permitted, but isnt explicitly stated.
43. If the unbelieving one is leaving, let him leave the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases.
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When The Gospel Is The Point
James 2:151 My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? 2 For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. 3 If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person , but you say to the poor one , You can stand over there, or else sit on the floorwell, 4 doesnt this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives? 5 Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasnt God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Arent they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him?
There are things God hates, equal to, or more than, divorce.
The way this teaching of James fits into the scenario I have been discussing is striking. It hardly needs an explanation. Those who are laser-focused on the God hates divorce narrative that is ripped from its context and twisted for their purpose, ignore what should never be ignored. God has a special place in his heart for the innocent, defenseless, and those who have no voice or champion the outsider , widow, orphan , slave, accused, poor, and needy. Those without a tribe or basic means to sustain life and defend limb .
This work of Christ, his entire life and mission, reveals the heart of God to us better than any words ever could.
A Good Question: Does God Hate Divorce
I hate divorce, says the Lord, according to Malachi. What does that mean? One question, four answers
WALTER HOUSTONToday, divorce means something different from in Malachis day
If we want to settle a question about what the Bible means for our life, it is not enough to ask: What does the Bible say? The Bible was written for situations that have vanished, and with assumptions that we may have given up. We must ask: If Bible writers 2,500 or so years ago said this in their situation, what should we say in ours?
In the case of Malachi 2:16 it is not even clear what the Bible text says. In the original Hebrew, this verse is a difficult text in a difficult passage. Most modern versions say: I hate divorce, but there is no I in the Hebrew, though there is no question that God is denouncing divorce in the passage. I would uncertainly translate verse 16 as: If a man hates his wife and divorces her, says the Lord the God of Israel, he is concealing abuse, says the Lord of hosts. So be careful not to be faithless. Jesus too criticised divorce, comparing it to adultery.
What we need to understand is that, in ancient Jewish society, only the husband could divorce his wife. Malachi and Jesus both saw men casually using this privilege for their pleasure or advantage.
Walter Houston is an Old Testament scholar and church minister
HILARY ROCK-GORMLEYDivorce was her only option, and I do not believe that God would condemn her
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Ephesians : 28 Men Should Love Their Wives
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
~ Ephesians 5:28
We have seen in this Bible verse that husbands should love their spouses the same way Christ loves the church.
In stating this, Paul establishes the gold standard for comparing marriage to Christ and the church.
Abuse, cruelty, and selfishness should not be seen in a home where Christ-like love exists. Husbands must love their spouses as their bodies, according to Paul.
Scholar Discusses The Pastoral Aspects Of Malachi : 16
- Marg Mowscko: “God on Divorce: Malachi 2:16”
Summary: “Divorce is hard, horrible, and heartbreaking, but we should stop saying that God hates divorce, as this is misquoting and misrepresenting scripture. Moreover, pronouncing that God hates divorce brings only hurt, confusion, and feelings of condemnation to Christians who are divorced or contemplating divorce. This pronouncement does nothing to help the churchs mission of bringing healing and hope through the gospel. Furthermore, we simply must stop using Malachi 2:16 to coerce or guilt a wronged or abused spouse to remain in a harmful marriage.”
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John : 44 Let Love Flow
You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
~ John 8:44
Pride is found in Satan, and fulfillment is located in the hearts of these religious leaders who accused this woman of committing adultery.
We have been made to understand that one of the things that cause problems in marriages is pride. According to the Bible, all sinners are proud until they place their faith in the Lord Jesus for salvation by grace through faith in Him.
As we are filled and renewed with Gods love, love will flow from His heart to ours and from us to others.
For a peaceful home and a divorce-free marriage, we should let go of pride in our lives, and we can only do that by inviting Jesus into our lives.
Biblical Grounds For Divorce
God wants us to work out a path of forgiveness, repentance, and restoration in marriage. It is something He calls us to do in all our relationships. But the marriage covenant is special to God and requires extra work on our part.
While God wants us to hold our marriages together with forgiving love, it never includes tolerating abuse
There are scenarios that permit divorce according to the Bible:
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What Does The Bible Say About Life After Divorce
And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.9 Here, the phrase and marries another raises the issue of remarriage. Jesus states that divorcing a mate on the grounds of immorality frees the offended mate to remarry without committing adultery.
What Are Biblical Grounds For Divorce
The first Biblical allowance for divorce is sexual immorality, as Jesus taught in Matthew 19:9 . This includes adultery, homosexuality, and incest all of which violate the intimate union of the marriage covenant.
Divorce isnt mandated, even in adultery. The book of Hosea is about the prophets unfaithful wife Gomer, who he took back after her sin this was an illustration of the unfaithfulness of Israel to God through idolatry. Sometimes, the innocent spouse chooses to remain in the marriage and exercise forgiveness especially if it is a one-time failing and the unfaithful spouse seems genuinely repentant. Pastoral counseling is undoubtedly recommended for healing and restoration and accountability for the erring spouse.
The second Biblical allowance for divorce is if a non-believer desires a divorce from a Christian spouse. If the non-Christian spouse is willing to stay in the marriage, the Christian spouse should not seek a divorce, because the believer can have a positive spiritual influence on the other.
But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if any woman has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband.
37. Matthew 5:32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
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God Hates Divorce: The Truth And Reasons Behind It
Divorce today carries a different connotation than it did in Malachis day. People frequently mention Malachi 2:16, which declares that God hates divorce. The Lord God of Israel declares, I hate divorce. But this scripture says much more.
Interestingly, divorce is not expressly forbidden anywhere in the Old Testament. While there are various limitations on putting away, the Old Testament contains not a single word that forbids the dissolution of a marriage through divorce. If we want to find answers to a question about what the Bible means for our life, it is insufficient to ask: What does the Bible say?
Contents
Isaiah 5: 15 Seek Gods Favor
For thus says the high and exalted One Who lives forever, whose name is Holy, I dwell on a high and holy place, And also with the contrite and lowly of spirit In order to revive the spirit of the lowly And to revive the heart of the contrite.
~ Isaiah 57:15
Knowing that one of the factors that lead to divorce is anger, we should do everything to guide our hearts and thoughts because out of it are the issues of life.
Remember that God favors the humble and broken-hearted when your spouse tempts you to let your wrath and pride run wild in your marriage, consider this scripture and pray for God to step in and fight for you instead.
Despite Gods elevated splendor, He aims to regenerate a right spirit in the hearts of lost souls because it takes a man at peace with God that can truly love his spouse.
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God Can Heal Your Marriage
You may think your marriage is irretrievably broken, but our God is a God of miracles! When you put God in the dead center of your own life and the center of your marriage, healing will come. When you are walking in step with the Holy Spirit, you are able to live graciously, lovingly, and in forgiveness. When the two of you are worshipping and praying together in your home, regularly, as well as in church you will be astounded by what happens to your relationship. God will breathe His grace over your marriage in unimaginable ways.
God will heal your marriage when you come in line with Gods definition of love, which means getting yourself out of the way and realizing the two of you are one. True love is not selfish, self-seeking, jealous, or easily offended. True love is patient, kind, enduring, and hopeful.
52. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
53. 1 Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
54. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.
55. Psalm 56:3 But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.
56. Romans 12:12 Rejoicing in hope patient in tribulation continuing instant in prayer.